ME | ON THE INSIDE

I've been trying to push this, but I don't think it's caught on yet. During the month of October you are only allowed to watch horror movies!

No?

eh, maybe next year.

     I never really realized that horror movies aren't as popular as I thought they were. I mean, obviously they never make a huge splash in the box office, but I thought everyone loves to curl up with a bowl of popcorn and watch Michael Myers stomp across the screen and slash people to pieces. I mean, I knew most girls didn't like horror movies. Nothing against you ladies or anything, but growing up most of the girls I knew hated horror movies. Recently I've found that there are a lot of guys that don't like the horror genre. This led me to wonder what spurred my love for horror movies. I mean, what is really so fascinating about watching some young teen getting slashed from ear to ear, while her boyfriend screams in terror as he is being splattered with her own blood? It's not like I am some sadomasochist, voyeuristic  freak.

     I think most of stems back to when I was 7. You see, when I was a kid my parents had me on a pretty short leash when it came to what I watched. Simpsons, Ren & Stimpy, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and most of the movies on my dad's VHS collection were off limits. For being so strict about what entered my sweet impersonal mind, they didn't really plan out the execution. You see, my parents kept the biggest, nicest TV in the house in the upstairs room, which happen to be secluded from every other place in the house. I would eventually move in to this room, which I turned into something much worse then a set of a horror movie, but that is besides the point. 

     You see, when I was young I was very obedient. I felt a huge amount of guilt if I even had a bowl of ice cream without asking, so there was no way I was about to tune in on Bart telling someone to eat his shorts. The other thing you need to now about me when I was young (and still holds true now to some extent) is I did not like confrontation. I hated telling people no, even if it went against my entire moral code. It's funny when I look back now because most of my childhood friends were the complete opposite of me. I blame them for the trouble maker I am now. One of those childhood friends was David. 

     I remember one time David called me on the phone because he just got in from school and was home alone (both of his parents worked). He told me as soon as I opened his front door he was hearing weird noises in the house. We would be talking and he would hear something fall in the other room. As soon as he went to investigate he would find a fallen book on the floor, but no one was to be found. This went on for about 15 minutes. I was getting bored talking with him because I was trying to beat the fourth stage on Sonic and it was getting really hard to super dash and talk on the phone at the same time. Plus, this wasn't the first time I had heard one of his extravagant stories. I think David realized that he wasn't holding my attention so he decided to make things interesting. He asked me if it was weird if he took a poo while he was on the phone with me. I said "no, go for it". I didn't really care because I was so close to reaching the end of the fourth stage I probably wouldn't of even noticed the bathroom sounds coming from the other end of the line. "That's weird". "What's that?". "I heard the front door open". "Well maybe your brother got home". "No, he had a scout meeting. He's not supposed to be back till nine". Suddenly David said there was a knock on the bathroom door. I hear David's voice shake as he asked "wh-whos there?" There was silence on the phone for a couple of seconds. During this time I began to actually become concerned for him. Maybe he's not messing around with me this time. In a whisper I heard David say "Kennon, I think someone is in my house". suddenly I heard a bunch of rattling and shouting going on. This obviously got me to hit the pause button and begin to actually get worried for my friend. David began to shout "I gotta go, I have to call 9-1-1!" This of course sends me into a panic. I began to imagine an axe wielding maniac bust into the bathroom, chop David up into chunks of flesh, and flush his remains down the toilet.  I didn't know what to do so I ended up sitting in my room, completely freaked out. A couple of hours later I get a call back. It was David, only this time I could hear other people in the background. It was the rest of his family. "Are you okay!?" I asked franticly. "Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I was just having a little fun with you. Did you actually believe me?" This was who David was. He loved mischief.

Another thing David loved was getting me to do things I knew I shouldn't do. One day we were flipping through the channels on my parents monstrous TV. We ended up landing on the USA Network. Whatever show we were watching was ending and during the credits David saw that Child's Play was coming up next. I had no idea what the movie was, but I had a pretty good idea that I would not be allowed to watch. David of course insisted we watched. I was reluctant but I didn't know how to hold my ground so I gave in. I got up and shut the door and grabbed the remote control. I remember being totally freaked out as I clamped the remote super tight. Not because the movie was scary, but because I just new my mother would come storming in the room and I would be grounded for months. I finally realized that my mother wasn't going to be coming in and began to ease up. I remember it was during the final chase scene. If you've seen Child's Play then you know the final scene takes place in the "Good Guy" doll factory. I remember seeing the Chucky doll jump around the screen. I remember the rush I had from watching something I new I shouldn't be watching. This is what brought on my love for horror films. After this movie I instantly began looking through the TV guide every week to see what horror movies were playing that week. I would find which ones were playing, head upstairs, shut myself in the room, and indulge in the awesomeness of horror films. I saw Halloween, Army of Darkness, The People Under the Stairs, It, Friday the 13th, and Pet Cemetery. I was hooked. I couldn't get enough. After a while a bunch of my neighborhood friends and I would compare horror movies. It was look we were trying to prove how brave we were by watching the scarier movie. During this time I kept looking for that same rush I felt during Child's Play. It obviously had nothing to do with the movie itself, it was just the fact that I was watching something I knew I shouldn't be watching. To this there have only been a couple of horror movies that made me feel that way. I think this is why I love horror movies. In some sick way I associate it with my childhood. It's exciting to me. I guess there is some sort of sentimental value to them.

So now that I've sort of explained myself I don't think it helped my cause. I still come off as a sick freak. Maybe I am, but it's October dangit! This is the one month I can get away with it! So ladies and gents, get out there and get scared!